Doris Hite

Whew. It's been a few days. Since my last blawg, a few things have been up. This last weekend, I was sicker than grandma porn. I had a steady stream of goo making its way through my body, exiting both holes. Not my penis. I woke up at like 4 in the morning, and from there the routine of spewing and shooping occurred for about the next 6 hours. It was awesome. But, I slept for about every hour I wasn't protruding yuck out of my bod. I slept it off basically, and was pretty alright the next day. So that was a mess. Anyways. I was thinking, I wish I had the shame of a dog. Or maybe the no shame of a dog. I have never witnessed anything more awkward than taking my sis's dog Piper out to doo the doo, and having him just take a trip to brown town right in front of me, and then have the nerve to stare right back at me. Just imagine, his 3 brown eyes, staring deep, beyond, and directly into mine. No shame. Imagine the things I would/could do with this talent. Not shitting in public, but just being completely secure in whatever I feel like doing. Twould be great. This dog though, Piper, has more character than probably half the people I have ever met. This dude is hilarious. Twice now, he has literally made me LOL while taking him out to "get busy". There is a small cat that lives under the house. Annoying as a dry booger. It comes out everytime we go outside, as well. Well Piper is usually cool with this cat, but the other day I guess he was in a pissy mood. He saw the cat from across the yard, sprinted over to it, and got right in the pussy's whiskers. (sick). After an intense stare down, my man took a few steps back, and went ahead and dropped a puppy loaf off about 2 feet in front of the cats face. I thought it was hysterical. And then, the next day, the same foreplay occured, but this time, he just hiked up his leg and showed off his god given goods while taking a peepee right in the cat's face. Again, it cracked me up. What a puppy. So ya, all this happened this weekend. And now, I'm in Conway, AR , about 2 hours away from where I've been staying, staying with my brother-in-law's brother. The past 3 days, I've been working 8 hour days at a place that makes custom shoes for diabetic people. hahaha. Yes, it's true. I have stood on concrete floor for a complete 8 hours and cut out insoles for shoes of all sizes. People get their feet molded apparently, send them in, and we mold inserts to them and put them in shoes, and supposedly it helps circulation. I'm not in dire need of cash, but I came up to help anyways. I have honestly had a new outlook on life come to me recently, and it has honestly been great. Somehow, I have been looking at things in the "why not?" type of life, or just looking at things I do as a new adventure, as if a story of my life would be made into a book or a movie someday. It has honeslty changed my entire mood on everything. It's wierd, but I am honestly enjoying it. I'll be able to tell this story of working at this place someday to someone who might give a shit, and that makes it ok with me. I haven't had a problem working at all, or even keeping my spirit up because of this way I've been looking at things. I find that if I'm able, why not give it a shot while I can, cause one day I won't be able to go around and just kinda live where I want and really have no die hard responsibilites, like my life is like right now. It truly has been an experience. Yesterday, while in the back warehouse smoothing down and shaving off excess plaster from the foot molds, I encountered what the referred to as a "ninja turtle". Turns out, a lady named Doris Hite, bless her soul, has 3 toes on her right foot.(hence the "ninja turtle"). As frightening and comical this was, it honestly got me having an almost serious thought as I continued to get the molded 3-toed foot in the best shape I could. So many times people see others as what the have. Even personally, we usually base our status as a person on what we actually have. But seeing this foot, missing 2 toes, which I believe were the ones who would go to the market and the one who would get the bread, made me really think. Maybe we should evaluate not what we actually have, but what we are missing. You are probably thinking, hey, dumbass, it's the same thing. But I think different. You see a rich man, with all of his possessions, and you see all that he has, and you don't. In the material sense, he has you beat, and is probably satisfied with what money can buy. But you might not know what he is missing, maybe a loving family, peace of mind, or even a good friend. I began to think of all the things I can actually say I have in my life, rather that what I am missing. I truly am blessed. I've had nothing but great friends, loving family, and overall good fortune in my life. It's time for me to stop seeing what I have and wanting more, but realizing what I don't have, such as maybe an abusive father, no friends, or even herpes. I'll leave you with this thought for a little brain candy, unless your like Doris Hite, with whom I'll leave you with this sugar-less gum. Sleep well friends.

-Critter