The First on Not Too Many

Welllp, it's official. I'ma turd. Turd is a word that has left the english language it seems, much like queef, jizzism, and rad. But anyways, I'm a turd nontheless. Today has been like most the days my past week. Wake up with a half chub, pee, eat cereal, maybe a few rounds of video games, hop on the interweb for some rad tymes, end up back in bed within an hour or starting the insanely redundant events of living my life as a turd. I'm jobless, dropped out of college, and overweight. Most of you would look at these things and say hey, get a job michael moore. But i prefer to be a little more generous, and without the mean name calling, just refer to my self as turd-ish. I am grateful though. For one, I've had some unfortunate events occur the past couple months, probably because of my turd-iness, and I have landed on my feet with the help of my loving family and friends. Needless to say, I'm a pretty lucky turd. Right now I'm living in Arkansas with my sister, her husband, and my nephew. This town sucks more than MTV. I've gone from living in a house with 5 other dudes, most great friends, living in a huge, dirty, dirty house, in the city of Nashville, to finding myself in Camden, AR home of a Wal-Mart. It might seem harsh to some, but I swear to God, I've never seen myself as a very smart or intelligent guy on a daily basis, but damnit, these people make me feel like a genius. I'm serious. In the crowd at the local Wal-Mart, I feel like some scholar just walking around in there, pronouncing my words right, being showered, and not visiting a relative who is currently working. I've never had this feeling before. I'm smart as shit here. Anyways, I'll probably be getting a job here soon, so maybe my turd status could be reduced down to michael bay status, and hopefully start making money to go back to school. All is well with me for the moment. I can't really justify any complaints I have right now. Skadoosh. I'll leave you with this.

-Critter